Horoscopes for Babies, November 2022

Scorpio

October 23 - November 21

Every day is an open-ended question, Scorpio Baby, and the answers are rarely what you think they’ll be. Will you get to play peek-a-boo for seven hours straight like you want? Probably not (grown-ups lack your impressive commitment to the bit), but that just leaves more time for activities you haven’t even discovered yet, like counting all the different colors in your rainbow stripe footie, or hearing the satisfying Plooop! when you drop the dog’s toys into the toilet. 

Lucky color: blossom

Sagittarius

November 22 - December 21

Journeys abound for you this month, Sagittarius Baby, so buckle up. Literally. You’re going to be in your car seat for a significant part of this month, so settle in and enjoy the ride over the river and through the woods. Feel grateful that your lightweight puffer makes the car seat feel like a little cocoon and leave it to the grown-ups to carry you inside once you arrive at your destination. Request "Baby Shark" on repeat and remember that every transfixing tunnel leads you closer to your destination: Grandma.

Lucky color: spruce

Capricorn

December 22 - January 19

Charm is your greatest asset this month, Capricorn Baby, and you’ve got *tons*. The key is to do everything with intention and a smile. So you’re not into strained peas today? No problem. Instead of screaming about it, lift up your baby hat and gently massage them into your wispy hairline with an enchanting grin. You’ll get what you want and your grown-up will get a great photo for Instagram. This is what’s known as a win/win.
Dec. 22 - Jan. 19

Lucky color: slate gray

Aquarius

January 20 - February 18

Creative as your ideas are, Aquarius Baby, they may not suit everyone. You like to wear your softest lightweight pants on your head. You prefer to smoosh crackers into fine dust rather than eat them. You compose operas at 3:00 am. Expect pushback, but before you give in, keep in mind that your grown-ups just carved what they think resembles a face into a large orange gourd. To each their own. Be the bigger person, go along with it, and let them learn from your example.

Lucky color: blueberry

Pisces

February 19 - March 20

You’re holding some strong opinions this month, Pisces Baby, and it’s time to let them out and be heard. You want the dog —and only the dog— to greet you at your crib in the morning, so stop sending mixed signals and allowing your grown-up to do it. Should they attempt, stay firmly in your rainbow sleep sack and wriggle with all your might, paying no mind to the fact that last month you felt just the opposite. If you knew the word prerogative, you would use it. 

Lucky color: lavendar

Aries

March 21 - April 19

There’s something strange in the air, Aries Baby, and it seems to penetrate everything. You recognize it in the strange new snacks you’re given to nibble, in the bowl of dried pinecones and bark you’re NOT allowed to nibble, the candle on the mantle, and mush you accidentally-on-purpose dump all over your organic cotton baby bib. It’s called pumpkin spice, and it will pass. Don’t worry, to everything there is a season.

Lucky color: tangerine

Taurus

April 20 - May 20

Your social calendar has never been more full, Taurus Baby, and you’ll be transferring from hip to hip of old friends and new. Take time to appreciate each face. Taste the necklaces around their necks. Get a solid squeeze of their noses. Let no bushy eyebrow or mustache go unexamined. Enjoy all the Oohs and Ahhhs over your little rainbow matching set. If you’re feeling generous, laugh at their jokes, even if you don’t get the punchline. It will endear you to them like few things can.

Lucky color: lollipop

Gemini

May 21 - June 20

The world is changing fast, Gemini Baby, and there’s nothing to be done about that. The leafy tree outside your bedroom window is looking more barren by the day. Your purple pool in the backyard was there until one day it wasn’t. The sun goes night-night even before dinner. It’s not personal and you did nothing to cause it, but find solace in the fact that suddenly your entire family is wearing matching PJs at 6pm every day. That’s something.

Lucky color: rainbow

Cancer

June 21 - July 22

You’re a trendsetter, Cancer Baby, and everyone is following your lead this month. You dress entirely for comfort in your star print sweatshirt romper, you nap after a good meal, and always remember to say, "Tank oooo" at least seventeen time each day. Before the calendar turns, your entire immediate and extended family will gather to celebrate these qualities you’ve demonstrated, and present you with the trophy of all trophies: marshmallows on top of baby food.

Lucky color: navy

Leo

July 23 - August 22

Expect confrontations this month, Leo Baby, for they are inevitable. Socks will be placed on your feet, no matter how many times you peel them off. Hats and gloves will be applied and reapplied. To you, this is a personal affront and an attempt to hide who you are from the world. Maybe it is, maybe it's not. Keep in mind that each person has their own perspective and reason for doing things.

Lucky color: sunshine 

Virgo

August 23 - September 22

You’re right to feel suspicious this month, Virgo Baby — your senses are not lying to you. For the last few weeks, you've noticed your grown-ups clocking long hours at the kitchen-turned-craft table. You can't crawl a foot without encountering a scrap of felt, or worse, a speck (or 10,000) of glitter. And it seems like one of your favorite solid zip footies has left your daily rotation of wear, in the name of what your grown-up keeps calling "DIY". Are they pivoting to a new career path on HGTV? What gives? It feels spooky. 

Lucky color: grass

Libra

September 23 - October 22

The passage of time is overwhelming you this month, Libra Baby, and it’s hard not to mourn the past. Yesterday, you had no teeth. Today, you have two. You outgrew your favorite outfit, which was sold days later on the Internet. Before the month ends, you’ll catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and realize that you’ve lost your double chin. A full head of hair is in your future. It must be so.

Lucky color: raspberry

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